“FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS” HAS A NEW NAME

Across many Nigerian campuses, the concept of situationship is slowly becoming a thing, generally accepted and practiced by most students, juggling academic pressures and social commitments while trying to find a balance with their desires.Typically, a situationship is a relationship that involves sexual activity without the commitment of exclusivity from the parties involved. Something more than a friendship, but less than a committed relationship. It’s usually very casual and its distinctive feature is that it is not defined. In most situationships, parties involved do not get to expect loyalty and accountability from their sexual partners, while a few people set ground rules to navigate the complexity that is bound to come with this kind of relationship, others do not.

While this seemingly new trends is not a novel concept in the Nigerian university scene, the new generation of students has only embraced it openly, shedding the stigma and shame that surrounds sex and everything linked to it. The term situationship is a modern creation of the new generation, coined from two words, situation, and relationship. It expressly describes the state of affairs, undefined and casual romance, nothing more. Social media has also made it a lot easier for our generation to get into this type of relationships and talk about their experience openly.

For so many people who have experienced situationships and are still currently navigating them, there isn’t a particular road map to getting into one, staying in one or even getting out of one. While some people start with a verbal agreement between parties, others have attested to just waking up and finding themselves in the murky waters of this kind of relationship. Interestingly, the set of people who start with a verbal agreement tend to be the ones who lay the ground rules for navigating this situation. These ground rules may vary from requiring accountability and exclusivity from parties involved as well as an exit clause. Although heartbreaks and heartburns aren’t meant for only a specific set of people these sets of people tend to ease the pain of potential heartbreak from a this awkward evolution of a relationship with these rules. As much as everyone would love to believe that there are no strings involved or attached more than half the time, strings do get attached. Staying in can also be a bit tricky, especially when one party has developed feelings and the other is unaware or even uninterested. It’s not a typical relationship where certain intimate conversations can be had between partners, especially about feelings, trust, insecurities, jealousy, and a lot more.

People, especially students get into relationships for so many reasons, best known to them. For some, it is the desire for intimacy, the desire to explore their sexuality without having to commit to a long-term relationship. For others who are hesitant to be in a serious relationship, their motivating factor is the fear of commitment and unavailability to fulfill the demands of a relationship at whatever point they find themselves in life right now.So many people would argue about the pros and cons of getting into a situationship, like every other concept of human endeavor it has its advantages and disadvantages. While some may argue that it provides some sense of sexual clarity others agree that it can get intense, sometimes leading to requited love. Oftentimes, its intensity can be a bit heart-wrenching for the parties involved